Saving men pain through advice, tools, and support

As the husband in a sexless marriage, how do you handle her dwindling libido and a lifetime of loneliness? Do you keep trying to generate sparks in a marriage bed so cold it’s become a love’s end memorial?

Seldom does a married couple’s desire level match indefinitely, but what if her libido dries up like a desert with no oasis in sight? And after the umpteenth time initiating sex and failing, she becomes as prickly as a cactus? If she can’t tell you what’s wrong, how does a husband identify the problem to fix her failing libido in a sexless marriage?

Many young men today, saddled with sky-high expectations and constant societal programming are falling prey to the devil of trying too hard and therefore failing at much of what they intend to achieve. Not to mention failing at enjoying all life has to offer.

Here's what you need to know to avoid strip club dangers and breaking unspoken rules, while still having a good time ogling female flesh in one of the last bastions where you can still enjoy being a man.

Excerpt: Women have had an instinct to seek security throughout evolutionary history. Their smaller stature and physical capability make this instinct crucial for survival. Women still worry about their safety, money, and social status, even in today's world. But why is security so much more important to women than men?

How should you respond, given that nagging spawns from varied sources? No two nags or ‘naggers’ are exactly alike.

All of your energy should directly feed that hunger toward your Purpose without regret, or inner resistance. Thus, your personal ‘fun time’ can be sacrificed like a fuel booster on a rocket. In this case a rocket towards your dreams.

To synergize your life, you must transform how you live into an epitome of economy. Like the Olympic swimmer with the perfect breaststroke that doesn’t waste one single calorie on wasteful movements; he propels himself from the springboard to the target line like a torpedo. Synergy is a harmonious mindset, where everything you have is focused on promoting the maximum chance of success at the lowest cost.

You might ask ‘why can’t I just talk like I feel like it?’’

You could but you wouldn’t be effective. Don’t you want to spread your message far and wide? Change and influence the hearts and minds of men? If you were an archer, would you just pull the string back and let the arrow fly? Continuing with this analogy, do you pull the bowstring because you enjoy firing off arrows into space or do you really want to strike the bullseye?

Every day starts with you waking up to a constant pressure like she’s actually sitting on your chest. When she’s in the room, the taste of stomach acid rises in your mouth so you stuff antacids tablets like jellybeans down your throat. You can’t seem to make decisions like you’re stuck in mud, paralyzed by a feeling of worthlessness. You still love her, but you want to be free from the pain.

So how do you know? Good girl…bad girl…run-Forrest-run girl. It is hard to tell sometimes, right?

When you hear an older man telling you about having cancer, or the pain of kidney stones, then some chick getting in a snit and leaving doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. You realize the path of life is long, and you will get plenty of chances to chalk up glorious wins and embarrassing losses. You gain precious perspective.

Yes, although we men fancy ourselves strong creatures, and bastions of emotional self-control -- we don’t want to be robots – do we? We certainly don’t want to be silent robots that don’t say a word before breaking down —

Dating app data for men and women suggests that roughly 25% of responses are ‘aspirational’ in nature, in that they are target more attractive members of the opposite sex. But what is the pragmatic reality for men in ‘aiming out of their league’ in terms of the cost versus benefit of targeting more comely female specimens?

Finally, towards the end of high school, I made my first purposeful forays into the dating world. Armed with little knowledge and no tools, I suffered the universal male experiences of mixed messages, frustrating endings, and rare fumbling successes. Oh and one college frat brother’s weak advice, “Chicks are hard. Suck it up.”

Since primitive times, men have chased women with one goal in mind…to understand their thoughts.

What holds a grudge more than a neutered junkyard dog, and is ornerier than a sleep-deprived honey badger?

Have you ever wished you could have read the tea leaves better to predict this dumpster-fire future from bad behaviors on the first date? Or run the mental math on the money and misery you could have saved yourself just by avoiding a relationship entirely? Well, you can -- if you heed the signals of bad female behavior. But you need to be alert. Both parties present their best, and hide the rest, in the beginning. Be assured the signs of impending disaster were there, you were probably just too distracted, too hopeful, or too horny to see them.

If you see a cute old man and woman holding hands and still in love—Don’t you want to know how he knew she was the right one?

Have you ever been in a bad relationship but didn’t know it? The signs were there but you ignored them and endured months or years of emotional trauma, squandered resources, and precious heartbeats of wasted life you’ll never get back?

Haven’t we all, Brother?

Everything in his world has been upended. How can the woman who said she loved him, now express nothing except cold apathy, or bitter anger?

The idea of online dating sounds good in theory, doesn’t it? Put up a profile and women that find you attractive will ask you out?

Gender equality is a noble goal, but now the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction and males have no spaces of their own. To the modern man, it feels like he is being pushed into an ever-shrinking box at work, at play, and even at home.

In society, doesn’t it seem like many women want to have the best advantages from both traditional and modern gender role models and none of the drawbacks, and be able to switch back and forth between the two at will?

If societies can’t do better in cultivating masculinity, then society’s moral fiber and stability in the form of the nuclear family will continue to decline towards collapse. If societies do not foster men’s ability to develop, implement, and manufacture new products and technologies, then it will become little more than a service economy, the labor of which can be outsourced to cheaper locales or AI bots.

Life eventually wears us down. Grinding for money, working out, and finally hitting the mattress in exhaustion. Every day feels the same.

How do we find a little joy?