Relationship Red Flags in Women [Advice for Men]

Red flags in women can be subtle at first—be vigilant.

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Have you ever been in a bad relationship but didn’t know it? The signs were there, some even on the very first date, but you ignored them—only to endure months or years of emotional trauma, squandered resources, and precious heartbeats of wasted time?

Haven’t we all, Brother?

Painful experiences with women have granted me hard-earned wisdom after the fact. I have gone through bad relationships and a terrible marriage with an unfaithful user. I have made my share of mistakes. I have chosen poorly. In retrospect, there were always signs. Some subtle, some more obvious. The woman was damaged, broken, and self-centered -- but at the time I didn’t know.

Woman put on their best face to men at first, so initial clues are subtle at best. Like so many men of his age, my father believed women were made of sugar and spice and everything nice. He never taught me how to detect damaged or predatorial women. When I was a young man, red pill culture was limited to a few secretive online Bulletin Board Systems I never stumbled across. I never learned about dating red flags, green flags, or vetting women. I learned by walking the path of pain—but YOU don’t have to.

The signs of a damaged woman show themselves gradually in relationships as a woman’s guard relaxes and her true character reveals itself. Consequently, it is important to not rush the courtship phase before marriage (for those of our readers who are marriage-minded), so you have time to discern her true self. I will try to categorize and explain each red flag, although some are purely experiential. Some might judge these flags as yellow or cautionary. If you can’t discuss and improve these negative attributes, you might as well consider them relationship killers.

I hope this saves my fellow men some emotional trauma and financial woe from the fairer sex.

Occupational/financial history:

1.    She has never had the same job in one place for at least 3 years.

2.    She works for a feminist organization or abortion clinic.

3.    She has filed sexual harassment claims more than once at her jobs.

4.    She has more than 5 credit cards.

5.    She is very brand-conscious and collects high-end luxury goods (Coach, Dolce & Gabbana, Prada, etc.).

6.    She needs a whole closet just for her shoes.

Family history warning signs

1.    Her parents are divorced.

2.    Father is distant, cold, detached, overbearing, and excessively strict.

3.    History of parental domestic abuse, child abuse, or substance abuse.

Previous relationship history:

1.    BC>5: Has a sexual history greater than 5 partners (Yellow) or over 10 partners (Red). Her ability to pair bond and fulfill the demands of a committed relationship will be poor with substantially increased instability and risk of divorce in marriage per multiple studies.

2.    Always the victim: She is a victim in all her stories with ex-boyfriends, and they are always depicted in a negative light. This demonstrates a lack of ability to assume responsibility in relationships.

3.    Cheater: She reports (or someone who knows her reports) a history of infidelity in relationships. The likelihood of infidelity increases by as much as 85%.

4.    Monkey brancher: She always jumps immediately to another relationship within one month of another ending.

5.    Engaged > 1: If she’s been engaged more than once you should investigate why? Cold feet? Infidelity? Rushing too fast into relationships? She wanted the wedding ceremony more than the marriage, so it all blew up?

Red Flag Behaviors:

1.    Eve of Jealousy: She demonstrates intense jealousy combined with controlling behaviors: marking you with wearable gifts, going through your phone, keeping track of your location, or demanding frequent “check-ins”.

2.    Angry Woman: She hits, slaps, punches, or throws things. These will escalate in a relationship. Do you want to worry about being woken up John Wayne Bobbit style for the rest of your relationship??

3.    Gaslighter: She emotionally manipulates situations to lie, play games, and guilt the man. He doubts himself and often questions his sanity. These women are truly wicked. They carry on being unfaithful for months or years while their confused partner remains snow blinded.

4.    Cobbler of men: She loves the man you could be once she cobbles together the spare parts of you into her ideal man.

5.    Repressor: She cannot express her anger or resentment openly to resolve conflicts. She buries or represses, demonstrating passive-aggressive behaviors. She will stealthily and indirectly exact a blood price from you in the future with emotional shaming and controlling behaviors.

6.    Non-reciprocator: She doesn’t appreciate and reciprocate the things you do. She demands more and more but gives nothing equivalent in return. This will worsen and siphon away all of your energy in the relationship.

7.    Score carder: She keeps a score cord or list of everything she has done for you, either in a physical list or in her head. She never really gives or sacrifices in a relationship; she just leverages what she does for you for better gifts for herself.

8.    Sex leverager: Uses sex access to control or punish her partner. If she tries this once—address it firmly. If she tries it twice, eject from the relationship.

Some Woman Choose to Dominate and Control their Husbands.

9.    Love bomber: Showers you with gifts to pull you back in after a fight, rather than making changes in her behaviors.

10. Trespasser of boundaries: She says she accepts your boundaries but then constantly pushes and oversteps them by attempting to emotionally manipulate or gaslight. She is controlling and attacks your masculinity. Often, she will report that her friends or Social Media Group/Followers think you are wrong to support her opinion.

11. Little Miss Never Wrong: She never admits when she is wrong. This includes when she makes sarcastic apologies that are insincere such as “I’m just so evil” or “I am a terrible wife”.

12. Isolator: She stops or minimizes your spending time with friends. She might devise activities to monopolize every moment of your time so that you drift away from your friends imperceptibly. Then you have no support, and she has more control over you.

13. Public shamer: She makes fun of your insecurities around other people or your friends.

14. Bad mouther: She speaks poorly of you when you aren’t around and doesn’t support you or your decisions in speaking with her friends and family.

15. Stoker of Jealousy: She flirts with other guys in front of you to incite jealousy and maybe even attempts to start fights for her excitement and to build up her ego.

16. Verbal trapper: She sets verbal traps where there is no right answer. She asks if her friend is pretty or whether “these jeans make me look fat”.

17. Bad Day Barbie: She always seems to have something to complain about, ranting about 3 days or more a week. Usually, much of what she complains about is self-induced — but she will never admit that.

18. Dictator of Men: Demonstrating Fempathy she makes statements about what a man should think, say, or do. “That’s not very manly”. “Don’t whine like a woman”. “You shouldn’t feel that way, a real man wouldn’t”. These are emotional shaming techniques to manipulate men.

19. Volunteer coordinator: She volunteers you for labor or tasks without requesting or even notifying you. This is dominant behavior that is extremely disrespectful of you as an individual with your own agency.

20. Rescue Victim: She starts arguments and then demands you support, rescue, and potentially fight for her.

21. Competitor: She competes with you in the relationship. She tries to outdo you in achievements, rather than see the relationship as a team.

22. Convo dominator: She always attempts to dominate conversations with her stories, achievements, and needs. There is no space on the stage for her relationship partner.

23. Princess of high expectations: She always has high expectations from her partner, and it worsens as the relationship progresses (often called the “Princess Syndrome”).

24. Divulger of secrets: She can’t be trusted to keep the closely held secrets of her friends from you. This means she will tell your secrets to the world too.

25. Queen of Boredom: Boredom is one of the top five reasons for female infidelity. These are the women who stir up drama in the relationship because it isn’t toxic enough.

Damaged Mental Health Behaviors: Major Red Flags

1.    Extreme pessimism: She has a dark worldview and always attributes negative motivations to everything people do. Of course, she will view everything you do in a relationship in a negative light in due time.

2.    Hypochondriac: She always has physical symptoms of some ailment like a headache, cold, sinuses, or shifting aches and pains.

3.    Impulsive behaviors: She doesn’t have good self-control and does activities on a whim regardless of danger. She has a history of substance or alcohol abuse in the past. These are all indicators of infidelity and destructive behaviors in the future.

4.    Suddenly doesn’t clean: If her behavior changes and she no longer cleans her home, it is often a disturbing sign of depression.  It is also highly linked to the risk of infidelity in my experience. She may also relegate herself to the bedroom frequently, always be on her phone, show decreased activity, and stay up late into the night.

5.    Borderline Personality Disorder characteristics: If you see one behavior, investigate for more characteristics. If you see 2 or more, pull the eject button.

a.     She makes frantic efforts to avoid the perceived abandonment of friends or family.

b.    She is very black and white in assessments of relationships “I love him” or “I hate him”. There isn’t any in between.

c.     She has an unstable, distorted self-image.

d.    She demonstrates extremely impulsive behavior.

e.    She demonstrates self-harming behaviors.

f.      She complains of frequent boredom or feelings of emptiness.

g.     She demonstrates inappropriate intense anger, often followed by guilt.

h.    She reports feelings of dissociation or feeling “out of body.”

6.    Narcissism: This term is overused, but it is something to be aware of. If you see 1 characteristic, investigate further. 2 or more clinical characteristics should be considered a red flag.

a.     She has a preoccupation with power, beauty, or success.

b.    She displays an excessive sense of self-importance.

c.     A strong sense of entitlement

d.    She believes she can only be surrounded by special, important, or elite people.

e.    She exploits interpersonal relationships for her gain.

f.      She displays intense arrogance.

g.     She lacks any sense of empathy.

Conclusion:

If you see the clues or behaviors listed above, remember RED FLAG means STOP and LEAVE. It does not mean arguing with her pointlessly, going to an unsympathetic therapist, or praying for help.  It certainly does not mean trying to fix her.

You can’t.

I can’t.

A doctor with the best psychiatric drugs in the world can’t.

Trust me, just let go of the relationship, cost your losses, and move on. I know it’s hard when you’ve already invested months or years into a relationship. That’s exactly how these women exploit men, who are raised to be nice guys. Guys who want to just forgive her and save her from herself.

Guys think ‘I can’t do any better’, or ‘I’ve already put in this much time so I can’t quit now’. Brothers you can and you absolutely must.

The parting cut hurts, but it doesn’t leave you a burned-out husk-like enduring years of indentured servitude. Reach out to your brothers for support. Reach out to your family. But you must be the man and do the necessary thing -- by leaving.

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