First Date Red Flags in Women [Warning Signs for Men to Steer Clear]

BachelorsFeatured

Jan 2

Woman riding pole with dress unfurled in the shape of a red flag — **Don’t let the red flags go unnoticed. Yes, it’s difficult to not get distracted sometimes…**

Have you ever wasted years and only God knows how much money on a woman to eventually discover she is a secretly damaged, world-destroying monster?

Have you ever wished you could have read the tea leaves better to predict this dumpster-fire future from bad behaviors on the first date? Or run the mental math on the money and misery you could have saved yourself just by avoiding a relationship entirely? Well, you can -- if you heed the signals of bad female behavior. But you need to be alert. Both parties present their best, and hide the rest, in the beginning. Be assured the signs of impending disaster were there, you were probably just too distracted, too hopeful, or too horny to see them.

Let’s go through some hallmark warning signs that are useful in screening out the users, the abusers, the crazies, and the just plain too-damaged-for-life bitter women who will wreck you. These vetting questions should help you dislodge some skeletons from deep within the closet. So, you go move forward to find the angels.

First date signs:

She’s rude to anyone serving her during the date.
She has 2 or more tattoos or piercings (excluding the earlobes) outside of the T-shirt and shorts body area. Her willingness to damage her outside is correlated to how much damage she has on the inside.
She is late to the date > 15 minutes without a notification or a heartfelt apology – a half-hearted “sorry” is not sufficient.
She complains about the date. She complains > 2 times about anything.
She looks at or answers her phone during the date without apology. If she must take a call, it should be <2 minutes.
She flirts with another guy.
She does not offer to pay for her portion of the date.
If she asks directly or indirectly how much you make.
If she shows up with a friend on the date, without checking ahead with you.
If she dresses too racy for the date, she is likely planning to go clubbing afterward or on another date. (Note: If her dress is understated, you may just be a ‘foodie’ date with no actual chance of courtship.)

buy us a coffee?

First-date vetting questions:

“Are you on social media like Instagram a lot? “
If 2 hours/day or more, head for the door. Check out her account to get a feel for her honesty on the date. Does her account list a boyfriend (make sure you scroll to the bottom of the profile - where it is usually hidden)?
“How many relationships over 6 months have you had?”
Alternate - “How many long-term relationships have you had?” Make sure you get her to define “long-term”. >=21 Years Old + 0 LTR’s = 🚩. Do the math. If most of her dating life has been single, she has had a high number of casual sex partners. Furthermore, there is some reason these gentlemen do not stick around.
“Would you say you’re sexually experienced or pure as the driven snow? “
You probably will not be able to ask this question directly. You want to mention some crazy stories of yours that defined the misspent part of your youth. Then, playfully encourage her to share some of her wild stories and encounters. You may have to ballpark it, but this shouldn’t be too difficult if you listen carefully and non-judgmentally. If her number of past sexual partners is greater than five (if 30 years and under) that’s a bad sign for future marriage stability [Divorce statistics]. At 10 partners or more, divorce rates increase dramatically. If she makes any indication that body count should not matter, then her body count and coping behaviors are sky-high. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Skip the rest of this checklist, skip the rest of the date, and “Run, Forest! Run!”.
“What do you do for a living?”
The top divorce rates are for the following occupations: bartender, massage therapist, telemarketer, gaming manager, flight attendant, and sex worker (any kind, of course) [Forbes]. These jobs all count as red flags and rank high in infidelity too. This is due to the personality types drawn to the job as well as certain pragmatic aspects of the job making cheating easier.
“Why did your last relationships break up?”
If she has had no long-term relationships, that’s a red flag (unless she is 20 or younger… maybe). If she describes all her ex-boyfriends as evil or narcissistic, it means she doesn’t take any personal responsibility. This is a definite red flag, as she takes no accountability in life.
“Have you ever cheated in a relationship?”
If she has cheated (did a woman admit this to you?), it is a red flag. Also, if she pauses momentarily while she composes a lie, or redirects the question, that is a red flag. The risk of infidelity is 3 times higher in any future relationship [infidelity risk].
“Do you consider yourself a feminist?”
Many self-identifying feminists tend to view males in a distinctly negative, ‘down with the patriarchy’ light. This results in everything you do being observed through a darkly cynical lens. This is an unenviable way to start a relationship.
Compliment her on her purse, and say, “I think my cousin or sister has the same one? What is it?”
She will commence to tell you all about it, likely in more detail than you want to know. Note that Coach, Gucci, Prada, and Dolce & Gabbana are all high-end luxury purses. If she has one and talks about having even more, that’s a red flag as it reflects poor life priorities and a propensity to spend.
“What’s your passion?”
If she can’t name a passionate hobby or activity she has done for more than 3 years, that’s a red flag. If she spends all day on social media, her phone, and watching reality and pop culture shows, that’s a red flag.
“What’s your dad like?”
Watch her for obvious or micro facial expressions. Unhappy or angry expressions reveal a bad relationship with her father, which is a red flag. Do not trust what she says, as this is often a cover for the pain she feels. Bad relationships with the father always come back to haunt future relationships.
“How would you make your future husband’s life better? “
If she can’t answer this question or appears to have never considered it, red flag. If her answer is vague or primarily related to sex, red flag. This is not a difficult question. You aren’t asking about nuclear physics after all…

**Sometimes the red flags are obvious—sometimes they’re not.**

First date behavior red flags:

Entitled Queen: She exudes a sense of entitlement with comments like “I deserve it”, “I’m worth it”, or “I’m a Daddy’s little princess”.
Demander: She makes many qualifiers or demands of the man but offers no objective selling points of her value to better a man’s life.
Thankless: She doesn’t thank you for your small acts of kindness on the date. Examples: Opening the door, paying for her meal, etc., which shows an entitled and unappreciative attitude.
Manipulator: If she makes any comments that attempt to define your masculinity. Examples: “A masculine man does this” or “Men that do this aren’t very masculine”.
Woman-hater: She has no female friends and distrusts women. This is a relative red flag. Some women do just relate better to men. Perhaps she grew up in an all-male household. But, if she has no female friends there is doubtless a reason. Perhaps she sleeps with her friend’s boyfriends. Investigate further.
Breadcrumber: She gives morsels of encouragement, so you chase her and build up her ego. If you stop chasing, she lays down more morsels. This behavior is often seen in texting. She never initiates, delays, or doesn’t respond.
Strict ruler: She plans and schedules everything. She has a physical list of her ideal man’s requirements as well as a detailed timeline for moving the relationship to the altar. These are controlling behaviors to mold the relationship to meet her demands.
Relationship victim: She talks incessantly about her previous relationships and breakups. This tale is woven from a litany of “I’ve been hurt a lot before” comments. All this emotional trauma will be laid on her future partner’s shoulders to carry, and she will blame and punish you for past men’s misdeeds.
Wired tight: If she has no sense of humor, it can be a sign of repression and emotional rigidity. This is often correlated with high emotional reactivity, meaning she can’t deal with much emotionally before she blows up and loses her self-control. Or she can never be submissive enough to laugh.
One-way Sally: If she tests or teases you but becomes extremely defensive when you do the same back to her.
One-upper: She competes with you in any story, achievement, or trial you have been through. She can always do you one better.
Starlet: If she hears your tragic stories or events but she can’t empathize. She quickly dismisses them and returns to speaking about her own life, reflecting that she is always the star in her one-person life drama.
Messy chick: If you visit her home or apartment and it is filthy. This can be a sign of mental health issues, especially if she thinks visitors may be coming over. How messy is too messy? If you can’t stand the thought of even sitting down and start looking for roaches, then keep it moving to the front door.
Free spirit: She has never committed to anything and never “wanted to be tied down”. No job, hobby, social activity, or even extracurricular sport in high school or college lasted 3 years or more. This demonstrates a lack of commitment and responsibility, which will always doom future relationships.

Conclusions:

The first-date impressions, vetting questions, and behaviors covered in this article should give you a good chance of avoiding problems from the start. Learning the signs of toxic behaviors and understanding women is quite the journey, but you can do it. Pruning bad applicants from your dating pool is your greatest Return on Investment of effort for avoiding relationship headaches. So, stay vigilant and disciplined while out there dating, Gentlemen. Remember, you usually only need to choose right once, but choosing wrongly can take you on a soul-sucking, year-consuming boondoggle of a bad marriage.

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