Why Men Should Protect Their Purity too

Men need to protect their spiritual purity in a world of decadence.

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 What does it mean to be pure as a man? No, I’m not referring to sexual purity. I’m talking about purity of spirit, as in the masculine virtues of a man in keeping his sense of morals and strength of character intact. The ability to do what’s right even if everyone around him is telling him he’s wrong to do so. In modern society, we are forced to ask ourselves if [masculinity] CAN survive and evolve in a society where meaningless thrills are pervasive and cheap—especially living in a world collective that tends to demonize the ideals of manhood with every source of media mocking men, especially [fathers] on every T.V. channel, newspaper, and news station?

It’s not easy for a man to maintain his sense of confidence in himself with so many screaming mouths proclaiming, “Toxic Masculinity!” “Mansplainer!” “Misogynist!”

It’s not easy to stick for men to keep the body and mind pure when our culture pushes pills down everyone’s throats, and diagnostic life-long labels for every trouble or emotion a man might have.

It’s not easy to even want to stick to masculine roles of protector, provider, and guiding light when women don’t seem to even appreciate or care about the burdens and sacrifices men make every day to keep society chugging along.

Yet, without discipline in upholding masculine values, most men find themselves feeling depressed, lost, and eventually thinking, ‘Who am I?’

If there are no absolute morals people must hold to, what keeps a man and woman together for the children? What stops men from stealing and killing each other? What keeps our society from collapsing in on itself in a hedonistic pile of unclean lifestyles and selfish desires?

Only one thing, hard men who hold on to their purity of purpose, values, and will.

Purity of Purpose

 Every man needs to stay focused on his goals in life. When a man strays from his purpose and becomes discontent? He loses his way with the feeling he isn’t ‘going anywhere’ with a nagging sense of unease. He suddenly suffers a loss of vigor and confidence. He finds himself no longer finding pleasure in activities that used to give him real [joy]

Commonly identified in middle-aged men but this can happen at any age under the label of ‘burnout’ or a ‘midlife crisis’, and it occurs to every man at different points in his life. He feels a straying from purpose, almost like a boat falling off course pushed by the toxic winds and societal currents. Frequently requiring the man to initiate a conscious course correction toward his chosen destination in life.

Common Examples of men losing their way:

• A young man lacks direction in pursuing a career and starts smoking weed while playing video games all day.

• A man in his mid-twenties loses sight of seeking a long-term mate and instead targets casual sex for release ‘smashing’ as many women as he can. He wastes his best years cruising bars and clubs, rather than building his finances and career. Although he may gain bedroom experience, his worldview darkens as his belief in women as special or unique long-term partners diminishes. And when he hits his thirties, depressed, he realizes he wasted his life on things without lasting value. Now, he tells female conquest stories to younger married guys who couldn’t care less, as they build up their families and their fortunes.

• A middle-aged married man becomes dissatisfied with the daily grind of his monotonous job. He struggles to stick to his goals or find a new fulfilling Grand Purpose. He wastes money on fast cars and younger women. In the process of trying to find his youth and ‘feel like a man’ again, he throws away his marriage.

• An old man having retired hasn’t set any new goals in life and becomes depressed and reclusive. He lets go of social connections and activities seemingly just waiting for a visit from the Reaper. Instead of pursuing generativity, he stagnates and physically withers away.

The point to remember is that every man MUST have something to strive for that HE chooses at each point in his life. A dream he pursues even when confronted with uncertainty it’s even possible. A project towards which he gives his sweat and toil. An ideal he strives for daily to define his self-image and claim his position in the world. Without purity of purpose, a man’s soul sickens and he becomes less and less until the essence of his Being fades away.

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” — Albert Einstein

Purity of Values

What are values, but the anchoring beliefs to build your life upon? Is this not a core aspect of masculinity? The values you integrate into your concept of manhood become the goalposts to strive towards in achieving whatever you define as life success. If you release your hold on your guiding beliefs in what’s right and wrong, how do you make decisions in life? Decisions made on impulse seldom arrive at bountiful destinations.

Every man must ground himself firmly in his ideals, because therein lies a man’s strength. And society is full of temptations to pull you from your path and make you weak and pliant.

If you haven’t read the classic story of Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, you should, as it tells the story of a man who loses his purity to a decadent society. You can read Siddhartha [Project Gutenberg] free online. In the story, an ascetic monk lives a solitary life but decides to venture to the city to experience all the pleasures of the world.

At first, he enjoys the exhilaration of excess in fine food, abundant alcohol, and willing women, but soon he finds himself in an inescapable malaise. He feels corrupted by a spiritual sickness. The wild thrills are no longer pleasurable, but instead just make him feel like an empty vessel. Now a weak, sad man he flees the city and comes upon a river stationed by a serene Boatman.

Siddhartha explains his misery and the boatman has him look toward the river for answers. The boatman points toward the river ever changing but ever the same, a blending of all that is good in life and aligned with nature. Siddhartha gazes out at the river and reconnects with the natural order of things. The river reflects life’s struggles, constant change, and unending renewal.

Siddhartha regains his purity and sense of purpose. He realizes all the tantalizing thrills of the world eroded his will—yet he can reform and be renewed. I believe every man should read Siddhartha as it resonates with what men go through in life.

“They both listened silently to the water which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.”—Siddhartha, Chapter: The Ferryman

Modern examples of the corruption of values in men today:

• Men who lie to better their position in business only to lose their self-respect and public image.

• Men who overindulge in sensory pleasures like drugs or food only to wreck their health, the prerequisite for all happiness.

• Men who immerse themselves in the hook-up culture of casual sex and consensual abuse of the flesh to numb lusts and discontent. Then find themselves impotent emotionally in connecting with women in a loving relationship. They are no longer able to see anything special, unique, or magical in women.

• Men who cave to nonsensical ideologies like feminism or the fantasy narrative that gender is just a construct. They blind their minds to seek approval from the masses. They even parrot illogical ideas counter to reality and then wonder why their mental health and masculinity are eroding.

When you feel lost, sometimes returning to nature and simpler settings helps. How? By removing modern distractions and revealing what matters in life through added perspective.

Men make mistakes constantly, but error-correct diligently.

Men struggle, and fail, but eventually succeed.

Men face constant change, but if we stick to our values we always come back to a new point of stability. Not the same as before but comforting. In this way, we evolve to become better than before.

As a man, point toward your Purpose, and let nothing deter you.

Purity of Will

A man’s purity of will, is the discipline to do the right thing, the smart thing in the long view, but the thing that seldom ‘feels good’. Even when everybody else around him is doing the opposite, usually a much easier thing. With a strong will, you can make difficult choices even involving pain and sacrifice. Will, much like a muscle, grows stronger through judicious use and weak through disuse.

A man must routinely force himself to do the hard thing, rather than the easy or pleasurable thing. In time, he will make the wise choice without hesitation or temptation. And what is more wonderful than a life of certainty?

To put it another way: Don’t let the things that feel good, tempt you to risk losing your chance of having the truly valuable things in life: a career to be proud of, good health, a loving partner, having children….

• Don’t take drugs to give you short-term happiness only to risk losing your career or your health.

• Don’t watch porn for sexual satisfaction only to lose value in women, interest in seeking a long-term mate, or a sense of spousal connection.

• Don’t eat too much and lose your physical health.

• Don’t avoid conflicts with easy lies only to lose your integrity and self-image.

• Don’t waste time on women who lack values and who would make poor long-term partners.

  As any old man will tell you, time is precious, and you only have a finite number of heartbeats to make your mark in life—so make them count.

Conclusion:

In summary, a man must be mindful to protect his masculinity, his purity of purpose, values, and will. Not only for his success, but also for the good of his family, and the future of his children. We are the warriors, the providers, the builders, and the mentors of this world. There will never be a time when we aren’t needed. Every man needs to be aware of the need to shepherd your sense of self, maintain your focus on masculinity, and hold steadfast to your Purpose.

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